Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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