More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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