But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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