It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
