Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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