dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
