Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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