Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize