What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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