foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
