I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
