Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize