margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I need to calm my uterus...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
