My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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