3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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