he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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