super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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