I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
