the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My balls are so social today.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
