I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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