well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
