Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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