Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
