I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
