Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
