Whod you bang
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
