For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
