yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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