she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
