are you so shy because you have an std?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
