We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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