And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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