Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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