So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
True strength comes from lack of pants
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize