obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
