Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
