before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
