can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
