My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
