Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
