I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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