Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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