Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
