he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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