Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize