She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
