yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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