I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
