Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
