First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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