if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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