Will you blow on my dice?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
