i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
These tits shall not be calmed
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
