Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
