i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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