I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
