We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
