happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
