well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
