So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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