Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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