Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
