Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
