Your tits are I can't wait for
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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