i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
