Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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