It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
