Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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