All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
