i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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