shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
