nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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