Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
