trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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