Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wish there were birth control emojis
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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