I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you mean i was at the winter classic?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Randomize
